Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz................

Ugh.

So tired.

Spent too much time in the garage, working on an enclosure for the cat box.

Still not done.

I'll post a picture when it's finished.

Thanks for the help, Geezerguy! It'll look great when it's done!




So tired.





-Sage Wordzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...................

Oh What A Tangled Web 2.0 We Weave...

So now we're talking about language.   {To find out what I mean by that statement, click *HERE* and try to follow along...}


I find it very interesting how the topic has morphed to the subject of the English Language considering that on June 10th the English Language added its one MILLIONTH word!

Oddly enough however, the one millionth word is not a word at all! It is "Web 2.0". Seriously, check out this link -->  Web 2.0

 A very simple explanation of Web 2.0

Now, "Web two dot oh" seems suspiciously like four words to me, but I'm not a mathmetician like this guy...

 

Attention:  Math Is HARD!

 (The above image, and some with carnivorous flowers [sweet!] can be found at Msr. Chelariu's website: http://www.serbanchelariu.com)

Still, at some point after nap time but before recess (Ferndale High School, Junior Year), I remember learning to count to four so I think I may be right about this one. 

Come to think of it, there are a lot of "new words" in our language that are not exactly words:

• N00b (# 999,998):  Someone new, and sucky, at playing a particular game.
• Carbon Neutral (#999,995):  An Inconvenient tribute to Al Gore
• Zombie Bank (#999,986):  A bank that would be dead if not for a government bailout

For the record:

• N00b is two letters and two numbers!  Perhaps it should be pronounced "Nzerozerob" or "Ndoubleoughtb"!  Spell it "n-o-o-b" and maybe we can talk!
• Carbon Neutral is just two words, one right after the other!  Like this.
• Zombie Bank is also two consecutive words, but one of them is "zombie" so it's at least a little cool.  As long as George Romero gets a cut.

Now I'm all for expanding the language, but one TV commentator (useless Talking Head!) decried our habit of simply appropriating words from other languages into our own (taco, domo arrigato, Mr. Roboto, farfegnuggan, etc.) which for some reason got my Chica's goat!  She was particularly animated on the topic and said (rather loudly and with just a touch more righteous indignation than I thought was absolutely necessary) that if we didn't absorb words like that, English would die off like Latin did!  (She had many reasons for that opinion which I am not bright enough to present here, so I'll just ask you to encourage her to spell it all out for you in a comment at the end of this post!  Thanks!)

So what do we do?  I actually like stealing words form other languages, as Chica does.  Mind you, I only do it to produce the illusion of intelligence, whereas Chica does it because she actually knows what the words mean.  (She's so zapato!)

But I also firmly believe we should continue to make new words, just with an eye towards making a little sense!  Here are a few good ones that have only come into the lexicon recently:

• Staycation: To take time off, but not go anywhere in order to save money.  What do you say to someone when they leave for their staycation?  "Non-Voyage!"
  
• Recessionista:  A person who wants to be trendy without spending much money.  We can thank them for the sudden resurgance of wool-topped boots and capri pants.  Jerks.
  
• Spyware:  Programs that collect data on you without your knowledge as you work on your computer.  Hopefully the spyware authors are listening right now as I call them A BUNCH OF WORTHLESS TURDS!!!!!
  
• Frick:  An excellent, and FCC-Approved version of a nasty word your mom would wash your mouth out for saying!  It's Frickin' great!
• Japanamation:  A specific style of animation imported from Japan.  Also called Manga, or "Those cartoons with the kids with the really big eyes who can all jump, like, a hundred feet and can only make an 'O' shape with their mouths".
  
• Stalkerazzi:  The scummiest of photographers who set up in Tina Fey's apple tree for seven days at a time living on Slim Jim's and Monster energy drinks praying she'll bend over in front of her window so they can sell a picture of her butt!  Then they run her off the road on the way to work so they can take pictures of her "horrible accident".  Scumbags!
  
• Blog: This thing!  Right here!  You're reading one!  (Sadly, "blog" is still struggling for acceptance as a word as it is not included in many spellcheck dictionaries.  For more on this topic, go waaaaaayyyyy back *HERE*.

Of course, some of these words may find themselves abandoned in time, but the good ones will be with us for awhile.  In 1806, the following words were new to the dictionary (click *HERE* for proof!):

• Americanize
• Whisky
• Nutrient
• Immigrant
• And the ever-popular: deliquesce

Words.  I love words!  Heck, I've even named myself after them!  So I say let's get cracking on the next million words!  I'll start us off!

Progring:  The inevitable progression of a conversation among two or more bloggers, as it is followed by the unfortunate family members of said bloggers who are emotionally trapped into reading their meaningless drivel.

- Sage Words

This Blood's For You!

Wow.  So now it's the world of High Finance that we're on about, eh?  I suppose that makes sense, considering how we got here.

If it doesn't make sense to you, go back to my first post of the month and then follow along from there to Geezerguy's blog, and so on...

==========================

Interesting thing, High Finance.  It's entirely relative.  I remember when I was a kid and High Finance to me was fifty cents!  For Lone Duck, Jugglesourcerer and I, we would go a long way for a few coins of the realm, I can tell you that!

One of the best things ever invented (as far as we were concerned) was the returnable bottle.  You could literally find a bottle on the street and, if it wasn't broken, you could get a nickel for it!  That's like, five cents!

 

Won't you lay your money down? 

 

One day, we came across a serious score.  It was a huge beer bottle and we figured we could maybe get a dime for it!  The thing is, we didn't want to take it to the grocery store where we took all the other bottles we found.  As it was a beer bottle, I guess we figured it should go to a liquor store.  Lone Duck was, as the oldest, pretty much in charge of the expedition, so I figure he was the one who set us off across the undeveloped scrub land near where we lived in El Paso, Texas at the time.

 

Now a side note about El Paso.  Being in the desert, it was common for there to be drainage culverts with cement sides strategically built to redirect flash flood waters.  They looked like this...

Naturally, the one we came across that day was not full of water, nor was there any vegetation around it.  It was just this dry ditch.

Now, it was my habit at the time to take full advantage of these things whenever I saw them to pretend to be Spider-Man (as any normal person would!).  I'd get down on my hands and feet, crawl around, and pretend to shoot webs at anything that moved!

So as I said, we came across one of these ditches on this particular day.  Sadly, I neglected to put down the beer bottle before launching into my normal arachno-style routine, and promptly broke the bottle.  This was distressing.

What was more distressing was the gaping wound I ended up with at the base of my thumb!  I was bleeding like I could not remember ever bleeding before!  (I had seen Jugglesourcerer bleed worse, but HIS crazy klutzy E.R. capers are fodder for future blogs, not this one!)  My hand was rapidly covered in blood and I was more than likely going to die from it (as far as I was concerned!).

This, however, is where Lone Duck took his leadership role to heart and came through for his little brother (sort of)!

Okay, so at the time, I was no older than six or seven, which would put Lone Duck, the oldest, at no more than 10, with Jugglesourcerer in the middle somewhere.  Considering our ages, Duck's actions were spot on!

As a Cub Scout, he knew he needed to stop the bleeding.  As an avid watcher of "Emergency!" we all knew I needed a bandage.  Duck had me hold my hand with my other hand and we rushed to what turned out to be a nearby construction site to look for a First-Aid kit.  Not finding one, Duck improvised exceptionally well despite the fact that MacGyver wasn't even thought of yet!  He pack some soft stuff he found around the cut and wrapped the whole mess in duct (Lone Duck?) tape.  It stopped the bleeding and we got home without further mishap.  Lone Duck was my clear hero that day.

Later, as the E.R. nurse was picking the individual strands of fiberglass insulation out of my wound with a pair of tweezers, and piling them in a bowl for disposal, I had occasion to reassess Lone Duck's greatness between the sobs and screams of pain.  I came to the conclusion in my tiny little mind that he was a bad person for doing that to me, so I decided to hate him, as all kids that age would.  But as I look on it now, I think I'l re-elevate The Lone Duck to hero status.  I may have been in pain, but he did what needed to be done to take care of his kid brother!  If he didn't know what the pink soft fuzzy stuff was, at least he had found SOMETHING to help me with!  Thanks Duck!

Besides, I also got this cool scar out of it...

You'll also note, I still have my affinity for Spider-Man!

==========================

So as you can see, I have engaged in the pursuit of High Finance myself, and learned a valuable lesson which is this:

"Whenever you find yourself traveling through scrubland in El Paso, Texas with your brothers on your way to recycle an old beer bottle in the hopes of getting a whole DIME out of it and you come across a cement drainage ditch and ecide to play Spider-Man and break the bottle and cut up your hand and end up having it wrapped in fiber glass and duct tape remember this:  YOU CAN'T RECYCLE THE BROWN BOTTLES YOU TWIT!"

Dang.




-Sage Words

Wild Justiculations

Strangely enough, when I asked two of my fellow bloggers what kind of person they would like to see on the Supreme Court, I neglected to answer the question for myself. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, read my last entry, and check out Geezerguy and The Visionary's blogs for clarification.)

I suppose when it comes down to it, I would need to be sure the choice is trustworthy, fair, honest, modest and good at problem solving. That really only leaves two choices in my mind. E.T. or MacGyver.

"Here Come Da Judge!"

Now I know what you're thinking: "How can he forget about Bobbi McFarrin?"
It's a fair question, but I really think "Don't worry, be happy!" can only answer about 76% of constitutional questions. We have to get the other 21% from somewhere! (With 3% set aside for tax, title, and license.)

So, as you might have suspected, that leaves E.T. and MacGyver. Well, truth (the whole truth and nothing but the truth) be told, they are really the only two who live up to...

The Sage Words Guide To
Supreme Court Justice Appointments
(or: What Ever Happened to Judge Wapner?)

Trustworthy:

• This one is easy. MacGyver would walk through a gymnasium full of 20 year old nudist female yoga instructors and never open his eyes for a SECOND if he promised not to before hand!
  
• As for E.T., Eliot never hesitated to ride his bike through the air across the moon! Why not? Because he TRUSTED E.T., that's why!

Fair:

• E.T. saved Eliott, a flower, and anything else he could get his glowing little finger on! If the F.B.I. guys had gotten a bloody nose, E.T. would have picked it!
• MacGyver must have disarmed 10,000 armed maniacs over the years, but he never used a gun himself! Heck, that takes "Fair" a step further into "Freakin' Crazy!". But it worked...

Honest:

• Dude. Right up front, E.T. was up front with his goals: "E.T. go home!" It doesn't get much more honest (honester?) than that!
• MacGyver was not only brilliant, but he couldn't even lie to the bad guys! He TOLD them he was going to escape! He TOLD them he would build a catapult out of a cheese grater and an Ann Murray-autographed dancing shoe! And he still did it!

Modest:

• Okay, MacGyver saved the country 139 times (137 if you count the two-parters) and NEVER used that fame to get chicks! If that's not modest, I don't know what is!
• As mentioned above, E.T. could resurrect plants and FREAKIN' FLY! But he never hit on Drew Barrymore and he even let Henry Thomas get in the last word despite being a complete doofus! Now that's being cool!

Good at Problem Solving:

• E.T. talked to space with a Speak 'n' Spell. A Speak 'n' Spell. Seriously.
• MacGyver. Uh, really? Do I really have to explain this? Dude.
  

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~~_~_~_~

So as you can see, on all the major points these candidates are both aces. But every nominee has to make it through confirmation hearings on Capitol Hill. Do they have any skeletons in their closets?

"Hi there! You got a sandwich?"

Let's see:

MacGyver's MacProblems:

1. Gun Control. The republicans will have a field day with this issue! With all the guns he took away from bad guys over the years, to not ever use one makes some people a bit squeamish! What is he, some kind of commie?
2. Budget issues. The government pays, on average, $203,583,373.91 for a paper clip and $2,475,192,379.24 for Super Glue. How the heck is he supposed to solve Constitutional Level problems when his two main weapons would drain what little money is left in the government?

E.T.: The Extraneous Testimony:

1. Uh. He's an Illegal Alien. Problem.
2. A bit of a flip-flopper. In the original book, he was crazy about M&M's, but once the movie was made he switched to Reeces Pieces just to make some cash! Seems like the issues are not as important to him as legislating Penut-Butter/Chocolatey goodness from the bench!

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~~_~_~_~

You know, Geezerguy has it right, I think. We really should have Justices who actually experience the Justice System first hand! Maybe someone who has actually tried a case or two rather than another Professor or lifetime Appeals Court Judge or (Heaven help us!) political ally! Maybe even a person with a little common sense for a change!

Or maybe...

The Jury Is Still Out On This Guy...

Nah! Just flip a coin!




-Sage Words

I Bet Brando Never Had This Much Fun...

Unbelievable. Only in California could you find some idiot using the law to try to stop someone else from pursuing a moral lifestyle!

In case you are a little confused, try reading all about it HERE and then catch up on this apparently expanding conversation on Geezerguy and The Visionary's blogs...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mind you, it's a good idea there's none of that nonsense going on here in the Midwest or Chica and I might have been interrupted as we celebrated the birth of our newest Godson, Johnathan!


This little guy was born at 0215 today, 5 june 2009 weighing in at a hefty 9 pounds 11 ounces and 21 1/2 inches long! He's huge!

Very few of the Newborn things his Mom and Dad got for him actually fit! They were all too small!

Now, The Visionary has some recent experience with a newborn, and Geezerguy has done it four times! Naturally, they both understand how taxing day one can be, so I'm going to call it for now, but I will leave my conversational cohorts with this quesstion:

If you were picking the next Supreme Court Justice, what type of person would you want? We'll see tomorrow!



-Sage Words

He Said, He Said...

For those of you who are shocked by the existence of two blog entries in three days, let me explain what's going on here. My intrepid father (Geezerguy) and I have decided to converse in a public fashion. Not because we feel it would be particularly amusing for our many (4.3) combined fans, but because it is amusing to us.

Come to think of it, much of my philosophy of the rest of the world existing largely for my personal amusement comes from my Dad. (Sadly, he feels the world exists for HIS personal amusement, but he's CLEARLY wrong!)

So anyway, the conversation is going to take place throughout the month of June, with the two of us alternating days. Today is my turn. Check out my previous entry and Geezerguy's response to get caught up. I'll wait...

++++++++++++++++++++++

Actually, I think about The Time Machine quite a lot. Not to mention Back to The Future, and any number of Star Trek episodes dealing with time travel and I can't help but think that the massive, vast, Earth-Shaking power of time travel should really be left to us (Me and Geezerguy). Here are the two most important things I think we can do with the power of time travel:

1. Travel back to just before George Lucas had the idea for Jar Jar Binks, and smack him with a dead fish.
2. Find out what really happened to Michael Jackson's nose

Once we've done that, I think the rest of the world should be able to sort itself out without much assistance.




- Sage Words

And So The Conversation Turned...

It is a Universal Truth that all ideas are "Great Idea!" ideas; at least until you try to put them into practice. Look at the Leaning Tower of Pisa, for example:

Vast Left-Wing Conspiracy

What most people don't know about this now-famous structure is that it was originally intended to lean the other way! The plans were intercepted by budding Socialists and REVERSED so it would lean LEFT instead of RIGHT! Those FIENDS!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This is precisely the type of point that is typically made whenever I get into a conversation with my dear old dad, Geezerguy.

And the thing is, within the context of one of these conversations, it's a valid point! But the liberal agenda of the builders of the Leaning Tower of Pisa are not the topic of today's discussion. Instead, I'd like to share with you one of those "Great Idea!" ideas.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Geezerguy is not only the provider of half of my DNA (not that half, the other half!) but he is also a fellow blogger. Truth be told, he has been considerably more prolific at the old blog than I have been lately (the Leaning Tower itself has been more prolific than me lately!) . You can read all about his adventures at Observations from a Rolling Home, and you may just want to go ahead and do that for a while!

You see, this is where our "Great Idea!" comes into play. Geezerguy and I enjoy these conversations so much (even the ones without Italian landmarks) we though it would be fun to try to have one on the Interwebs. So for the entire month of June, The Old Man and I are going to converse. I'm beginning the conversation tonight, and he will continue with his comments tomorrow and we will alternate days like that up until the end.

Now I know what you're thinking: "But Sage, old buddy, June has an even number of days, so Geezerguy is guaranteed to have the last word!" (Admit it, that's what you were thinking!)

Perhaps. Perhaps not! Maybe I have a trick up my sleeve! I guess we'll all just have to wait and see!

Bwaa Haa Haa!!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

ACTUAL CONVERSATION FOLLOWS:

Okay, here's the thing. It's like we're all mindless sheep waiting for the shearer to come by and make us all naked! We take no responsibility for our own actions, nor do we pay even lip service to good taste or propriety! I am speaking, of course, about the so called "Network News"!

When is the last time you heard one of these monkey-brained talking heads say something that was simultaneously "not horrible" and "not stupid"? Seriously!

There was a story a few months ago about "Joe the Plumber". It seems that, after being investigated and destroyed by the media for not having an actual Plumber's License (Really, Joe? No license? That's bush league, dude!), Mister the Plumber decided to seek an alternate means of employment.

However, his only experience was in the thing he was not licensed to do! He had to find work quick, so he took the only job he could that would accept the fact that he had no experience, no training, no skill, no natural talent, and little visible interest.

He became a commentator.

That's right! Joe the Plumber went from unlicensed plumbing to commentating from ISRAEL on the conflict between Israel and Hamas! Seriously! For an outfit called Pajamas TV(!). But wait, there's more!

The Talking Heads on the networks (I'm talking to YOU Shepard Smith!) had the temerity to be ANGRY!

NOT Edward R. Murrow

They got angry! That KILLS me! There is not a single one of those talking heads working today that can be considered a journalist! They are all mindless Mouth-on-a-Stick dullards with delusions of adequacy, and they're mad at Joe the Plumber for doing the same job they do only without a degree in journalism? Unbelievable!

Look, I'm not saying Joe the Plumber was as pure as the driven snow, but he brings something to the table that all the Charles Gibsons and Nacy Grace's of the world will never have. Perspective. He's not so in love with the sound of his own voice that he would begrudge another person trying to make an honest living.

So we're all mindless sheep (But you are NOT the Shepherd, Shepard!). We still tune in night after night to watch these characatures of wooden people with wooden faces and wooden personalities read teleprompters at us and pretend to laugh just after it's appropriate to do so. We just seem glued to that screen, watching these network Pod People as they pretend to care about things they don't understand.

The Fox News Crew

It's kind of sad, actually. What do you say, Geezerguy?

(Head over to http://geezerguy-rollinghome.blogspot.com/ tomorrow to find out what he thinks!)




-Sage Words