Nothing Rhymes With "Orange"!

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Today I attempt

A brand new form of blogging

Strictly bad poems.

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A haiku to start

Count the syllables by line

Five, seven, and five

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These rules are rigid

With no room to deviate

Always just the same

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Then a limerick will come along next

But its format is not too complex

First you write up two lines,

With the fifth they must rhyme

But make lines three and four match up best!

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Mind you this can be just a bit quirky

Limericks normally come out quite dirty

But I'll try not to swear

Or bespeak underwear

And ideally you won't wish to hurt me!

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Then suddenly, like the grinding of mental gears

as a paradigm is shifted without a clutch

A switch

To absurdest analogy!

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Structure, like confetti prematurely dropped after a Steppenwolf concert

is thrown to the wind!

Our emphasis now moves

to drama!

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Two things compared, like as in a twisted mirror

their relationship tenuous at best

but presented anyway

for effect!

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Then finally, I think we'll see

My final type of verse!

A simple rhyme, to waste your time

(Maybe I should have done this one first!)

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Two rhymes within, line one begin

This poem's simple frame

Then two again, before the end

Hope the last line isn't lame!

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Now I must begin

Actual content comes next

Talk about my day

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First I woke up late

Concerned about all my plans

Then thought, "I have none!"

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Made a short phone call

Reassuring a young friend

Who has a hard life

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Then I went to a baby shower next

Lots of women discussing their breasts

And the way they can leak

When a baby does feast

And their bras tend to keep them all vexed!

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Now I know what you're thinking this time!

"I guess Sage Words was out of his mind!"

Without Chica he went

To hear new mothers vent

About bodily fluids they whine!

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But I had to lend moral support

To the father, alone with this court

Leave my good buddy Scott

Alone? I could not!

So I went there (But I kept it short!)

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After leaving there, like a monkey from a fancy dress ball

I proceeded to a used book store

But with Chica out of town,

depressing!

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Nonetheless I gathered my strength, and like a rhino preparing for a ballet solo

I shopped around for used books and DVD's

finding solace finally

in digital films!

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Checking out I was surprised, like a Winnebago suddenly lined up at a drag strip

I had won a twice daily random prize!

My $14.00 purchase

Now FREE!

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So now it seems, my movie dreams

Have finally come true!

It cost me ZIP, for two great flicks!

"Jason Bourne" and "The Accused"!

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Now I'm back home (I guess you know)

My day is now complete!

And in a fog I thought, "my blog"

Could use a little treat!

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So the poetry popped into mind

As a cool thing to try out this time

Though it's been kind of tough

I think you've had enough

So I'll make this the very last line!

-Sage Words