Friday, November 14, 2008

Itnnerant Residency in the Grand Canyon State

NOTE:  I’m the kind of person who likes to try new things.  Sometimes I pick a different route home, for example.  Sometimes I eat a new dish.  Sometimes I even put on my right shoe before my left (this NEVER works out, and can ruin an entire day!)


Today I’m trying to literally “mail it in” (as opposed to doing it figuratively most days!) by using this blog site’s e-mail posting feature.  If it works, you may get overly excited, so please try to remain calm.  True, it may signal the beginning of a worldwide economic recovery, an end to wars and hatred, a return to moral thought and behavior, a chicken in every pot, the resurgence of the United States of America as the leader of nations, and restoration of “Doogie Howser, M.D.” to television as God intended!


But, it may not.


What it will do, however, is allow me to get to my point and get today’s episode of “Stupid Things Sage Words Will Try To Pass Off As Relevant” underway!  So without further shenanigans, I bring you:


Stupid Things Sage Words Will Try To Pass Off As Relevant

(or: how to share the bitter tonic of disappointment with as many people as possible, but cheaply)




Today, Chica and I signed our names about 185,256,549,924.7 times and (allegedly) came away as proud new owners of a bouncing baby house!  Now, while this is cause for celebration in many primitive societies (England, Fantasia, or any Chevy Chase film), in our local Arizonan (Arizinian?) society it is merely cause for “not really getting what you want”.  Or more accurately, getting exactly what you want, but not being allowed to have it!


Howard Jones wrote a song back in 1986 (the only truly great music was in the 80’s) about unrequited love called No One Is To Blame.  It contains the line: “You can build the mansion but you just can’t live in it” and I’m telling you, that’s how Chica and I feel right about now!


You see, in this advanced Arizonnistic (or in Latin: Delayus Maximus) world we have moved to, there appears to be a cooling off period for home buying!  Now, it’s not what you think.  I’m not supposed to sit here and think really hard about what I’ve done (Mrs. Blackstone, my Kindergarten teacher, might disagree with that statement), no!  It appears this is the State’s chance to see if THEY really want to let you do it!


Actually, it’s just a state-mandated time for all of the paperwork to be properly filed.

And certified.

And gold-plated.

And framed.

And sold on the International-Paperwork-Preventing-Sage-Words-And-Chica-From-Occupying-The-House-They-JUST-FREAKIN’-BOUGHT market!


Not that I’m bitter.




So technically, Chica and I are homeowners once more.  Sometime around Tuesday, we will also be homeoccupiers!


Dude.  I can’t wait!





-Sage Words


Karen said...

So where in Arizona do you not own a home? FabGrandpa and I are in Phoenix right now, until near the end of December.

Sage Words said...

We're waiting to occupy a chunk of Tucson. Actually, come to think of it, we are occupying a chunk of it now, just not the chunk we paid all that money for!

-Sage Words

Yarntangler said...

You would get much more sustenance if you tried a new food instead of a new dish. Trying new dishes each week can wreak havoc on the table settings. Maybe they make you wait so you'll have time to pack all your service for 3s and discard the dishes that have only one bite taken from them.

Congrats on the house! now where do we park?

Geezerguy said...

And you thought the military could do Red Tape. Welcome to the wonderful world of pasty-face bureaucrats, and frustrated state-level politicians with time on their hands.
I'm not sure how I missed this one earlier;
Choose One:
1. -working nights has made me less attentive.
2. -I am an irresponsible dolt.
3. -I was eating at the time.
4. -CSI was on.