Sunday, November 30, 2008

I Hate Those Cursed Decepta-Siths!

Personally, I blame Darth Vader and Megatron. After all, they have both spent the majority of their lives actively trying to mess things up for others!

I mean, just look at these evil freaks...

Have you ever seen a pair of freedom-hating scuzzballs as nasty as them? It's obvious just by looking at their manufactured mugs of malfeasance that they would happily take a can-opener to their own mothers just to thwart a random, helpless, and perfectly innocent blogger like (just to name one COMPLETELY at random) me!


As you, my loyal readership have certainly noticed by now, I am nothing if not utterly and completely devoted to providing you all with your daily dose of Sage Words; so it would HAVE to be an insidious outside force acting upon my unwilling person that would cause me to miss yesterday's blog, and NOT my own propensity to be distracted by shiny objects and new toys!

So here's the skinny:

Back at the beginning of November, I decided to participate in NaBloPoMo, at the behest of Yarntangler and Geezerguy. After a few days of actually posting here every day (instead of my normal "whenever the heck I feel like it") I found out that NaBloPoMo actually stands for something! So I looked it up.

As it turns out, NaBloPoMo means National Blog Posting Month. It was started as a joke by a wonderfully talented writer (the preceeding is a shameless attempt at sychophancy. If you do not have a strong enough stomach for that sort of thing, please accept my apologies for the nausia and the dry cleaning bill) named Eden Mariott Kennedy who writes her own blog called Fussy which I find quite amusing. I suggest you check it out.

NaBloPoMo is essentially an exercize in writing discipline. Now as my close friends and family will all attest to, I am nothing if not in desprate need of dicipline, (I once put two milk cartons with pinholes in them under the back seat of a teacher's car, but not untill I had properly "aged" the milk!) and doubly so when it comes to writing! So this was a great opportunity for me to try to achieve some!

The rules were simple. Post to your blog every day in November. That's it! No ground rules, no pre-determined topics, no advertising for Simpson's Individual Flood Preventers, nothing! Just write!

Whatever comes to mind, any length, and topic, any time as long as it was posted before midnight! So here is a reminder of what I wrote about (see the archive links to read them over if you like!):

  • Four or five posts about writing
  • Four posts on technology and geek stuff
  • Four posts about politics (kinda low for me!)
  • Three posts about my friend Sid
  • Six posts where I mostly just slapped up a picture and called it a night
  • Two posts about my own laziness (there would have been more but, you know how it is...)
  • Two posts about our new house (none very detailed, or satisfying, I know!)
  • And four undefined (possibly deranged) posts full of gobbledygook
Now there was really only one way to screw this up which, at the eleventh hour, I did. I failed to post anything yesterday.

Now, truth be told, it would have been easy to slap something on here and change the post date so it would appear as if I had posted yesterday, but I would not be able to accept that (somehow I have to find a way to get rid of that dang Integrity Gene!). So here I am, laying it all out there for you. I missed a day and there's nothing I can do about it.

But I'm telling you, it was Darth Vader and Megatron conspiring against me!

You may recall me mentioning a certain Plasma TV purchase I was planning to make? (Go on, check it out. I'll wait.) Well, the sad truth of the matter is, I got it. It's a 42 inch Panasonic Viera and it is (as they say back in England) "real purty"!


So I got it yesterday and set it up. And calibrated it. And tuned it. And admired it. And caressed it. And named a future child after it. Then I made an error; I decided to test it.

Now, I don't know about you (actually I do, and if you don't cut that out right now, I'm telling Mom!) but I firmly believe that all new Audio/Visual equipment should rightfully be tested by a viewing of "Star Wars". [That's just "Star Wars", not "Episode Four: A New Hope"! You got that Lucas?!?! I refuse to buy into your revisionist, namby-pamby, "Greedo Shot First" do-over mentality you weasel! NEVER!] So I popped it in. It was, if I may say so, freakin' awesome!

When that was over, I felt the need to try out something a bit more recent (actually, Chica wanted to see it too, so it was a way to score some cheap brownie points!) so I put in Transformers. It too, was awesome!

It was thirty minutes too awesome, actually. When it was over, and I checked my watch, it was half-past midnight! I had missed the 29th! I MISSED IT! And it's all because of Darth Vader and Megatron!

It has to be, right? It couldn't be me!? Sure, I love consumer electronics as much as the next guy (MORE! The next guy doesn't appreciate the difference between 1080i and 1080p, but I DO!) but that doesn't mean I would neglect my adoring fan(s) by leaving them hanging like that! Does it?

I'm so ashamed.

So I guess this is it. I failed the NaBloPoMo movement in its pennultimate moment. I let down the Legions of adoring fans I've accumulated (imagined) since the beginning of the month, and I must pay for it dearly.

My punishment? Well that's up to you! Comment on this post and tell me what you think would be the most appropriate way to atone for my careless indifference to your literary requirements. I'll publish them all in a future post and let Chica pick the winner!

Until then, sorry about yesterday. It couldn't be helped!

-Sage Words


Geezerguy said...

You're right. This is a major offense not only against the legions of fans, but against the universe as we know it. The time-space continuum itself is at stake, and so I have consulted the Force on your behalf, and I relate the verdict (without prejudice)on It's behalf:
"The only sufficient method for atonement requires that you divest yourself of the root cause of your transgression. You must turn over the offending Plasma TV and your copies of Transformers and Star Wars to your father."
...That's a direct quote. Glad I could help.

Sid said...

At least you didn't watch Speed 2 as your first movie, THAT would have been truly unforgivable. I actually like the fact you missed a day, it shows writing discipline and a rebellious streak. It also shows that you write on your blog, and that your blog doesn't write you. Or something. Blog the dog? I dunno, I'm tired.

Rosemary Words said...

I say you should watch nothing but YGBKM chick flicks for the rest of the year!

Yarntangler said...

As we all know there is only one person a boy must obey. So MOM says, You should post at least 4 times a week from now until your 37th birthday. (this gives you 3 days to think or goof off whichever applies)
Wife will be a dutiful DIL and agree - right Chica?

BTW, I would have chosen Independance Day but only if you have your new surround sound system hooked up.

Anonymous said...

As a fellow 1080p experiencer, I must say I'm proud of you.
Now go buy a playstaion 3 for its blue ray goodness and ability to play violent video games online with your little brother.

Alynn said...

Since I'm still here in the land of the one aisle BX (that's only half stocked) I am angered at you for having a cooler toy than me.

I want a new toy, I really need a new toy, perhaps I will be able to get myself a new toy in exchange for the minivan I'm buying the wife.

So you failed, but it really wasn't an epic fail, that would have been had you done a face-plant while walking down some stairs and CARRYING your new toy...

...Yeah that would have been an epic fail.

~loneduck~ said...

in the course of histiory there have been only four perfect kisses..... oh wait this is a punishment not a romance sry.
ok first you must find old doc brown and find a way to power the flux capasitor (it being 12:30 and not 11:30 when the lightining struck) next you have absolutly got to go back and purchase for TLD all the first edition Weird Al Albums ever produced.

and lastly you have to spend 602 hours watching French Kiss with Chica

when all that is finished you may watch your precious 1080p thingy


spiritualastronomer said...

Like Sid, I also like that you missed a day,(sorry, Yarntangler and Geezerguy) but for a different reason. You gotta leave room for perfection--and the missed day does just that.

Thank you and Chica for your great hospitality the other night. The force must have been with you with that pizza!

mamabeck said...

You're such a nerd, Noel-y! But that's why we love you!

(oh, and that's EXACTLY what C would've done, too!!!)

Chica, what are we gonna do with these nerd-men of ours?!?! ;)